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Will: Who will be the next vice president?

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Rumor has it Barack Obama will pick his running mate as soon as Wednesday morning, and John McCain will tap his veep next Friday (the day after ObamaCon).

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Don: If we concede that Obama is Bugs Bunny and McCain is Daffy Duck, then the choices become clear. Obama must name Foghorn Leghorn — for his whipsmart authority, experience to sense danger and keep the henhouse (homeland) secure and (not least) his accent, which will come in handy to woo the Southern vote. McCain’s obvious pick is Elmer Fudd, a short, pale, pudgy moralist who’s a terrible shot with a hunting rifle. Stay the course, boys.

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Rick: The obvious choice for Obama is Oprah. Oprah, Obama. Obama, Oprah. McCain needs someone young enough to balance the age issue. He should pick one of the Jonas Brothers.

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Donald: I think Obama should pick Paris Hilton, because 1) she already has her own energy policy; 2) she would be willing to flirt with Vladimir Putin; and 3) White House staff would get really good rates at the Hilton family of hotel brands acheter levitra whenever the White House travels.

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McCain should pick Ernest Borgnine, because 1) he’ll look like a whipper-snapper in contrast, and 2) Puritans will be happy that the only action taking place in the White House will be in the vice president’s office.

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Kathy: Since both are running on the idea of change, who better to help them out than a couple of heroes who took down an evil empire. Obama could tap the wisdom of Yoda (”Help you to get elected, I can”). McCain could tap the youth of Luke Skywalker (”The Dems overconfidence is their weak


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